I was certain there were great days ahead for the church. For the most part, we had weathered the weirdness of COVID as best we could. Our staff team, along with some other leaders in the church, had completed the Next Steps Process and our vision for the future was exciting, focused, articulated, and provided more clarity than we had ever had. We were making decisions for growth. Members of the church were very generous financially. Our staff team had been together for 6-7 years. Again, I was certain we were about to launch into an incredible season of ministry.
Then I stepped on a leadership land mine, and everything changed.
I was blindsided and realized there was much I needed to learn. There was a great deal I was about to learn.
Land mines are hidden on or just under the surface of the ground, meaning they are hard to see. When stepped on an explosion ensues and injuries are likely. In his book Managing Leadership Anxiety, author Steve Cuss asks if you have ever “stepped on a land mine you didn’t even know existed.” I did just that. There were injuries, particularly amongst some of our staff members. I was injured as well. It would ultimately impact the church.
A leadership land mine is usually detonated from a decision we have made, or considered making, that evokes a strong reaction in others. When a land mine trips, it changes team dynamics and may even lead to the discovery that team chemistry was weaker than realized.
As pastors and leaders, we will step on land mines, but usually not on purpose. We will make decisions about ministry direction or personnel or something that needs to change in the church that will unexpectedly turn into a crisis. Sometimes, it is the decision that is made that causes the crisis. At other times, it is the reaction to a decision. Regardless, a crisis is a crisis.
I found myself in the midst of a crisis. A level of difficulty was beginning that I had not encountered before. A season of leadership had exploded into existence, and I did not feel equipped for it. I was blindsided and realized there was much I needed to learn. There was a great deal I was about to learn.
What I failed to do as I was in the process of stepping on the land mine was utilize additional layers of analysis which could have provided discernment.
Avoiding Land Mines
A senior pastor usually feels like they know what is best for the church. That should be true of a senior pastor! A church calls a pastor because they want a humble leader who will help them know and do the will of God.
There will be times, though, when a pastor or leader may know the right thing to do, but the timing is not right, or the process is flawed. When a pastor feels like something is right and good for the church, we are ready to move forward. We sometimes move forward without considering the land mines on the horizon.
As with any leadership decision, we have to have peace from the Lord that the decision being made, or direction being taken is right. What I failed to do as I was in the process of stepping on the land mine was utilize additional layers of analysis which could have provided discernment. How will this decision affect other people, particularly the staff team? How will this decision impact the church?
I might have avoided the land mine if I had exercised enough discipline to work through these simple questions. There was another layer of analysis that was more personal in nature that should have been considered. Do I care how this affects other people?
My thinking was simple. If this is the right decision, and I think it is, then others will get in line, and we will move forward toward great things. My leadership thinking was not deep enough. The land mine detonated.
Discouragement is a tool used by the evil one, usually through other people, making us feel weak and tempting us to drop the work of ministry we have been called to do.
Aftermath of an Explosion
Discouragement in ministry is hard-hitting and hard-to-overcome. What exactly does it mean to be discouraged? The books of Ezra (4:4) and Nehemiah (6:9) both use this word and the text-note in NAS says the literal meaning is “weakened the hands of.” Discouragement is a tool used by the evil one, usually through other people, making us feel weak and tempting us to drop the work of ministry we have been called to do.
What does it feel like to be discouraged? Joy is absent. I had never experienced this depth of discouragement where I had no joy. None. I began asking myself questions I had never asked before. Am I going to make it through this crisis at this church? Do I want to make it through this crisis at this church? My entire family felt the heaviness of what was going on at the church. Our kids would ask, “Why is daddy so sad?”
In listening to an episode of The Glass House podcast in the aftermath, a pastor and his wife were being interviewed who had endured a few years of strenuous difficulty at their church. He was asked what advice he would give to other pastors going through a hard time. His response: Read the Psalms. So, I did! Reading through the Psalms in the height of discouragement was one of the most helpful things I have ever done. The Word felt so personal to me, and it helped me realize that our Lord understood what I was going through.
While in the midst of discouragement there are lots of “voices” you listen to that are not helpful. But to hear God’s voice through His Word was life-changing for me.
While in the midst of discouragement there are lots of “voices” you listen to that are not helpful. But to hear God’s voice through His Word was life-changing for me. Psalm 37:3 gave me a new perspective. “Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.” I heard His voice so clearly in the midst of discouragement in this verse. Trust Him. Do the work. Dwell where you are. Cultivate faithfulness where you have been placed. I was struggling with all of these things, and the Lord calmed my heart and set my feet on solid ground.
In the aftermath, I also experienced a great amount of encouragement in meeting with others in ministry. I honestly wasn’t aware that so many have also been through deeply discouraging and difficult times as pastors and leaders. I realized there is a family everyone in ministry is part of. Our discouragement was met with understanding and empathy by those who know first-hand the complexities of church leadership. A great piece of advice we received was a very simple yet galvanizing message. Show them what it looks like to stay. Sounds a lot like Psalm 37:3.
One very clear conclusion the Lord has allowed me to come to is that land-mine-moments in the church also open the door for the evil one to sow seeds of chaos, confusion, discord, and hurt.
Assessing the Land Mine
I really thought we were heading into an incredible season of ministry. Instead, just the opposite took place. Our staff team encountered some changes as a result, as did the church overall. I have had much to reflect on about myself as a pastor, leader of a staff team, and decision maker. It would have been easier (for me) if someone else had actually stepped on the land mine! I stepped on it, and I would also say I’m growing from it.
A few months ago, I was in a conversation with a long-time member of Ken Caryl Church. We were reflecting on what had transpired over the previous year. I said to him, “I’ve learned a lot through all of this and there are many things I would do differently if I could go back and do this again.” His response surprised me when he said, “No. Don’t think like that. You don’t have to keep thinking about what you should have done differently in the past. You need to make sure what you have learned through all of this is used for what you will encounter in the future.”
One very clear conclusion the Lord has allowed me to come to is that land-mine-moments in the church also open the door for the evil one to sow seeds of chaos, confusion, discord, and hurt.
Ephesians 6:12 says, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” When I stepped on that land mine, it brought about a difficult spiritual battle within our staff team and the church. It is a big reason I want to do all I can to avoid as many land mines as possible.
I do wish I had performed a deeper analysis of the potential impact of decisions before making those decisions. I’m glad I didn’t make any big ministry or career decisions when I was overwhelmed by discouragement. I’m so thankful the Lord spoke to me in a very personal way through His Word. I’m touched by the encouragement that has come so powerfully through others.
Most of all, though, I’m thankful the Lord has sustained the church in spite of my pastoral ability to step on land mines.
I’m thankful the Lord has sustained the church in spite of my pastoral ability to step on land mines.
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