I remember sitting in chapel while I was in college — I went to America’s premier Baptist university, Southwest Baptist University (go Bearcats!) — weeping before the Lord. I don’t remember what was said, but I remember the calling. A calling to surrender. To do whatever God said, no matter what it was.
That moment is where my ministry journey of surrender began.
I loved the church. I loved going, serving, leading — all of it. When I first went to college, I actually started as a Political Science/Psychology major. One semester of poli sci at 8 a.m. changed that quickly! I switched to psychology, early education, and discipleship. I knew I would be working with people, so it made sense. During those years, I grew in my faith and learned how to make it my own. I learned about Lordship and so much more. That day in chapel was a defining spiritual moment — the kind where you’d build an altar.
Now, I must admit, I pictured myself as a missionary in Africa, even though I had never been there. That was the only ministry path I had really imagined. I had only been on one date in my life, and when the guy opened the door, I opened the other one! I did have a great guy friend I thought might be “the one,” but he was dating someone else. I had been on many mission trips that shaped my idea of ministry, but I truly had surrendered to whatever God said.
Fast forward a year, and the phone rang. “Hey, could we talk this evening? I’ll pick you up at 7.”
I had literally just been praying — with tears — telling God again, “Whatever, Lord. I can be content single.” Right then, the phone rang. It was Bill, the great guy friend. I knew he wasn’t dating anyone anymore, and we had been doing a LOT together, including leading a small group. With hope and fear, I said, “Of course!” Becoming a pastor’s wife wasn’t really on my radar yet.
Fast forward another year, and yes — we were getting married. We were green with so little wisdom but willing hearts. Bill was a Church Ministry major with a minor in Church Music. He was on staff at a little church doing worship. Ministry felt simple and easy.
I don’t think we ever really talked about what ministry would look like together. We knew he would graduate soon and need a job. We applied to the Home Mission Board (NAMB) to be US2 missionaries — a two year assignment. We were sent to Kansas. Not as glamorous as Africa, but we were excited. We did much of the work together, though he held the paid position. We developed different strengths and served in youth, college, women’s ministry, and more.
We also talked about when to start having kids. I grew up babysitting and working in the church nursery, and I was ready. The HMB warned us that the first years of ministry require adjustment and that we might want to wait. Bill and I talked and concluded that we would always be in ministry, and our kids would do ministry with us. We were a team. It’s fun now to look at our grown kids and see how their strengths mimic ours. A couple can work a room and talk to everyone. The other two — more like me — are in the back making snacks and making sure everyone has what they need. They were, and still are, great partners in ministry.
Has it always been easy, like at that first church? No. Have we always been in sync? No.
There were seasons when Bill was serving and I was at home with our kids, in tears and depressed. There were seasons when all four kids were in tow, right in the middle of everything. There were and are times when we go off in different directions.
Some things I’ve learned over almost 35 years as a pastor’s wife and ministry partner:
- All ministry matters. Not all ministry happens inside church walls or during official church business. Some of it happens in your child’s room while your husband is preaching.
- You must be fed. We can’t do all the teaching and serving. Let people minister to you. Find a bosom buddy or mentor you can lean into — even if she’s across the country.
- Beware distractions. They come in all shapes and sizes. I am a Martha through and through. Luke 10:39 says, “She had a sister named Mary, who also sat at the Lord’s feet and was listening to what He said.” That word also means Martha was sitting at Jesus’ feet too. She got distracted, but she started in the right position. I love Martha.
- Hard seasons will come. Remember Colossians 3:23. I used to remind my son and his best friend as they ran onto the baseball field, “Remember who you’re playing for!” The same goes for ministry.
Years ago, I was given a book titled Being a Minister’s Wife and Being Yourself. I don’t remember much besides the title — but the title was enough. Be yourself. The best advice I ever received (thank you, Lesa!) was to make my walk with God my walk. Serve and minister alongside my husband as me, with the gifts and talents God gave me and continues to refine in me. There have been seasons that my job has been in vocational ministry! There have been times my ministry has been in a secular job. Both were and are callings!
Surrendered to whatever.
Kelly Gandy
Surrendered to Jesus
Bill Gandy’s wife
Morgan, Mollie, Matthew and Madison’s Mom (Our Gandy dream team)
Spencer, Greyson, Jonas, Asher, Abigail and 3 more on the way’s Loli
Kelly Gandy is the wife of Bill Gandy, Campus Pastor at Cross Fellowship, Palmer Park.
