Young families can love your church. Have you thought about that recently? The sounds of crying babies, restless preschoolers, and playful elementary schoolers filling up a lobby, sanctuary, or kids ministry area represent vibrant life in a local church. And though we all want that reality in our gatherings, the truth is we can have a hard time getting families to actually want to be there.
My hope is that you can reclaim a vision for the type of kids ministry that draws families into the discipleship-rich life of the local church. But what does that look like? How can a church help families and kids want to be there? Contrary to what you might expect, the key to drawing families in is a gospel-centered kids ministry. The message of Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection is worth giving all our efforts and energies for families to understand and cherish. So I want to help you grasp three simple, defining characteristics of a gospel-centered kids ministry that can spark growth in your discipleship efforts to young families.
In the typical rhythms and schedules of your church calendar, the competition for the time and attention of your young families has never been more fierce. School regularly spills outside of the tardy and dismissal bells, sports have never demanded more from their participants (time, money, and cross-country travel), and then there’s the idea that you could actually spend time with friends or family. It’s a full load!
It might sound simple, but the church calendar from 1995 just doesn’t map neatly onto the life of 2025. And before you tell me we are losing the culture war if we stop offering all your programs, let me ask you a question: when it comes to growing young people that are grounded and fruitful disciples of Jesus, how effective have church programs been over the last 30 years?
Now obviously we want to make disciples, foster community, and come alongside parents – and that requires time together. Listen, I fully believe the local church is the family God has called and the partner parents need as they raise up the next generation. I want our kids to be little arrows, grown with love and integrity, ready to be sent deep into the darkness of the enemy. And for that to happen we must be more committed to stuffing Scripture into the hearts of our kids and families than we are to stuffing their schedules.
The playbook you were running at the turn of the century is unlikely to be the right play today. Why? Because our world has changed. There are things that have not changed: the gospel, Scripture, and the God that authored both of them. If you are more committed to your schedule than you are to the Bible, you will refuse to even consider your impact on the calendars of the families you say you want to disciple. And that, my friend, is not a gospel-centered kids ministry.
A gospel-centered kids ministry is looking for any and every avenue to stuff Scripture, not schedules. That will mean every program you offer is worth reconsidering: does this stuff Scripture into our kids and families? Does the hero of the one true Story, Jesus Christ, come through as the hero of our kids ministry? Let me give you a few examples of how these questions could sound:
- Are your kids ministry leaders teaching the Story of the Bible on Sunday mornings?
- Do your kids ministry leaders know the Story of the Bible?
- Are your kids memorizing Scripture on Sunday morning?
- Does your mid-week program (if you offer one) center on Scripture?
- Does your mid-week program (if you offer one) add something to the discipleship of your kids and families that Sunday morning does not?
- Does your VBS present the gospel?
- Is VBS the only place you present the gospel to kids?
If your church is going to stuff Scripture, not schedules, there can be no sacred cows in kids ministry. Young families need your church to be a place they want to be, so don’t let your calendar stand in their way.
When we step back and look at the tangible blessings that the local church can provide to every single young family that walks through their doors, this is one of the first things that comes to my mind: relationship. In an increasingly isolated world, God’s people have an opportunity to provide relationally-excellent spaces in our gatherings – not only in, but especially in kids ministry. As parents are evaluating what is a worthy investment of their kids’ time, I would argue that you can’t beat a loving, caring adult that teaches the gospel and how it applies to their life. And guess where you can find loving, caring adults that teach the gospel and how it applies to a kid’s life? The local church! As the saying goes, discipleship happens in relationship. So if our churches want to make disciples, we need to be relationally excellent.
But how can you know if your ministry is hitting that target? Here are the top three criteria for a relationally excellent kids ministry:
- Consistent Leaders
When you are recruiting volunteer leaders to your kids ministry, give them a vision for building relationships with kids and families, not just executing curriculum. Call them up to a commitment of serving every week with the same class. Nothing makes a parent feel known and loved quicker than a classroom leader knowing their kid’s name. Nothing.
- Celebrate Milestones
If we are going to be the family God has called and the partner parents need, we have to show up on the big days. The birth of a child, promotion into middle school, baptism, graduation from high school – these are just a few of the milestones in the life of a family that churches should celebrate with their families. As we celebrate these occasions, we continue to build relationships that give us credibility to speak gospel truth into their lives.
- Community Spaces
Lastly, this one is super practical. Give families space to connect. Maybe that’s your lobby. Maybe it’s your playground outside. Or maybe it’s the park down the street. Whatever facility you are working with, make sure that you are allowing parents the chance to see other families at the same age and stage to build community with one another.
These relationally-excellent strategies are all in service of the greater goal: a gospel-centered kids ministry that draws families into the local church.
In our efforts to make disciples of the next generation, we cannot do it alone. The local church was not designed to own discipleship in the home. Rather, we have been given an amazing opportunity to support, not replace, our parents and grandparents in the disciple-making role God has given to them.
As you are spending time with your church members, make it a habit to ask how discipleship is going in the home. Keep it at the front of your mind when you get lunch with a grandparent or coffee with a mom or dad. Your people need gentle reminders from their spiritual leaders that what happens in a living room on a Tuesday evening can have more eternal impact than one hundred Sunday mornings. That’s why a gospel-centered kids ministry equips parents and grandparents to make disciples in the home!
Not only should this shape some of our discipleship conversations, but it should also make its way into the content we provide. Here are a few resource ideas that can continue to shape your parents and grandparents on a regular basis:
- Family worship books
- Find at least one devotional book that you would recommend and have available for parents to use as they read, pray, and sing with their kids at home.
- Music
- Music has a special power in the life of a young family. To paraphrase Andrew Fletcher, “Let me make the songs of a family, and I care not who makes its rules.” In other words, get a family singing the truth of the gospel and their hearts will follow. Help your parents and grandparents understand the influence God-honoring, gospel-centered music can have on their kids.
- Take home activities
- Don’t miss the chance to send something home that helps extend discipleship conversations into the home. Keep it simple, helpful, and clear. Your parents and grandparents will thank you!
There are families that desperately want the chance to belong in a local church. They might just be looking for a gospel-centered kids ministry that helps them want to be there. If you want to move in that direction, reflect on your current ability to stuff Scripture, not schedules, pursue relational excellence, and equip parents and grandparents for their role as the primary disciple-makers in their families.