How did I navigate ministry alongside my husband?
When John and I first got married, in May of 1983, he was the youth minister at a small church in Arkansas. It was expected that we would be a “Two-Fer” or two-for-the-price-of-one; in other words, I would always be expected, called or not, to be the other chaperone, lead the girls in any activities, or help with any counseling situations. I could tell pretty quickly that working with youth was not going to be my “sweet spot” when it came to serving in our local church. As our ministry moved on, I realized that my main ministry was to my husband first, then to our local church. I found that I really enjoyed serving by singing in the choir (this was back before there were praise teams) and working with children. As time went on, I would eventually find myself singing on a praise team, though.
After we started having children, John still came first, but then I had to make sure that our children were taken care of. This meant that on Sunday mornings, John would go to the church early and the children and I would go to church on our own later on in the morning. I would still get to sing, whether in a choir or a praise team, and I would take my turn working in children’s ministry. While we weren’t working “side by side” in ministry, like we did when John was a youth minister, we were still on the same team; ministry just looked a little different while we had kids at home. Now that all of our children are grown and John is a regional director for Longs Peak Baptist Association, we now get to go to church together on Sunday mornings in the same vehicle AND at the same time.
How has this journey shaped and changed me over time?
I felt God’s call to be a minister’s wife when I was in high school, though it wouldn’t be until John and I got married over 43 years ago that our ministry started together. I have changed a lot in these past 43 years of ministry. When I was in high school, God gave me this verse that would become my “life” verse: Philippians 4:11 (KJV, because that’s all we used back then). “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” Little did I know that “state” would actually refer to all the states we would live in during our ministry – Arkansas, Texas, Virginia, and Colorado. As for the word “content,” that one has been a little bit more challenging through the years. It has been difficult at times to be “content” in some of the living conditions we’ve had to live in, having young children with the closest family 17 hours away from us, and the difficulty of trying to figure out finances.
However, we have always had a place to call home, we have had our church surround us as a family, and God has always, ALWAYS, supplied our needs (Phil. 4:13). There have been so many times that God has shown up in unexpected ways, through unexpected people, in unexpected places, like the day that John was released from the hospital with bacterial pneumonia and that night I had to take our six-year-old daughter to the emergency room 45 minutes away because of asthma. She ended up being admitted into the ICU. This was before debit cards, and I didn’t have any cash, and once I knew that our daughter was going to be ok I realized that I hadn’t had lunch or dinner and I was hungry. About 10 o’clock that night, out of the blue, a dear friend of our church family showed up with a hamburger. He drove the 45 minutes to the hospital after Wednesday night church and choir rehearsal and decided to bring something to eat. God is amazing!
In 2000, John felt called for our family to adopt a little boy from another country. I didn’t go for the calling right away (I was a little slow), but when I felt the call, as well, we saw God work through our church family and others to rescue our son from Russia. So, the ministry journey that God called me to when I was in high school and finally fulfilled when John and I married has only softened my heart to love my Lord and Savior more and more. I don’t know how in the world people make it day to day without having Jesus in their life.
How have I seen ministry and ministering to people evolve over the years?
In the past 43 years, ministry and ministering to people have changed COMPLETELY! Local ministry used to be just that, centered around your local community, but now, with social media, a local ministry can be international. While our focus is still on our local community and telling them about the love of Jesus and then inviting them to church, now we have people who choose to stay at home and watch the service on their device before ever showing any interest (or not) in coming to their local church. You may have people from other cities/states/countries that choose to watch a church online from hundreds of miles away instead of getting involved in a local church.
Another part of ministry that has evolved over the years is our culture. I found out that when we moved from our church in rural Virginia to Denver, there was a HUGE change in the culture (and that was 25 years ago). (I realized that wearing suits to church was not really the right outfit for a church plant when everyone else was wearing jeans.) With the social problems that are plaguing our culture, now our goal, our calling, is to be salt and light to those around us wherever we go. We need to put aside political and social differences and just love others. We are supposed to love others and tell them how Jesus loves them and that he has come to give them hope through salvation!
How have you grown and changed with it in order to meet the needs of the ministry?
I have changed in so many ways when it comes to meeting the needs of the ministry. From the early years until we moved to Colorado, I kind of felt that it was my “job” to get people to “my” church, almost like a competition, I’m sorry to say. Yet when we got to Colorado and found out that only about 5% of the population went to a Bible-believing church, I realized that it didn’t really matter which Bible-believing church a person went to as long as they went. Then I learned that it was more important to “invite people to Jesus before inviting them to church.”
So, while I still help with ministry in my local church, I have learned that my real ministry centers around my family and my job. Let me explain. My husband still comes first, and I am careful to make sure that I am available to be with him as much as possible. My mom lives with John and me, and there are times that I need to help take care of her. I am also the guardian of my brother, who has a brain injury. I need to help take care of his business from time to time. Then there is my job. I work at a school. God has allowed me to be able to share Jesus’ light to those around me, whether it is a student, another teacher, or a parent who is having a difficult day.
Ministry looks different every day. Giving a student an encouraging word, making a copy for a teacher, giving a hug to a discouraged parent, running an errand for my mom, paying a bill for my brother, calling or texting my children, or praying with my husband. People often say something to me about how I’m always smiling. I, of course, I tell them that it’s because of Jesus, and I usually end up (later in the conversation) inviting them to my church. As a minister’s wife, “We (wives) do what we do, so they (husbands) can do what they do.” As a team, we are working together to share Jesus with those around us in any way we can to make Jesus great!
Dennis Belz serves as the director of the Colorado Baptist Disaster Relief.