Emotions are defined as conscious mental reactions which are subjectively experienced as strong feelings directed toward a specific person or object. Emotions will always be accompanied by physiological changes in the body, and if not managed, behavioral responses that can result in getting you arrested, filmed for viral “Karen” content, scheduled for marriage-counseling, or worse if you have never learned to identify and understand your emotional life. Emotions are like a check-engine light on the dash of your vehicle. If the oil light comes on, a shallow understanding of the problem might lead us to stabbing the light with a screwdriver. We need to address the real issue.
There are six or seven basic emotions which are always common in all cultures. These primary emotions are contained in a helpful tool called an emotions wheel. Psychologist Paul Eckman identified six universal emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, disgust, and surprise. He later divided the idea of disgust into two categories by adding contempt into the mix. Disgust differs from contempt in that disgust pushes us away from things like outrageous smells, while contempt is often enjoyable to us, such as the feelings we get when talking about politicians or football teams that we detest.
We can all relate to the emotions that Eckman has identified, but in his emotions wheel, which is so common that you can purchase couch pillows with this image, Eckman breaks down each primary emotion into dozens of feelings which flow into the primary emotion. Emotional intelligence requires us to understand our feelings beyond the surface level. Solomon says that a fool gives full vent to his spirit (Proverbs 29:11). Paul reminds us that even when we are angry, we should not sin. There is a depth to our emotions which requires a spirit-led insight to enable us to refrain from embarrassing consequences.
Moses provides an interesting biblical case of a man who could have benefitted from an emotions wheel throw-pillow. Some of the major incidents recorded for us from the life of this great spiritual leader and hero of the faith reveal that he had an anger problem. That is why Charlton Heston and his eyebrows got the role over Timothy Chalamet in the Ten Commandments.
Moses was chased into the desert after murdering the Egyptian slavedriver. In the desert he chased off a gang of street thugs. Years later, he famously smashed to the tablets that contained the miraculous writing of God. They guy was known for his angry reactions. But look a little deeper into what the story of Moses gives us. The encounter with the Egyptian slavedriver was precipitated by compassion for the man being beaten. The incident at Jethro’s well was sparked once again by compassion for the women who were being abused. Even before the tablet-tantrum, Moses was in a conversation with God, who told him the people were responding faithlessly to the delay in Moses’ return, and Moses, motivated by compassion, begged God not to destroy them. God relented, but when Moses came down from the mountain, he blew his top. In all three stories, Moses was motivated by the emotional feeling of compassion. In all three stories, he expressed his compassion through the simple and inadequate primary emotion of anger. The man needed to grow in his emotional intelligence.
When we look at the final chapters of Moses’ story, we see the tragic consequence of his failure to ever understand the deeper nature of his emotional responses. He was banned from the promised land because of his angry outburst against his people’s faithlessness. When he struck the rock, he was not motivated by compassion. He was simply given over like a fool to the full venting of his angry spirit. Anyone who knew Moses would agree that his anger finally got the best of him. He just did not have the insight into his own emotions to respond in these situations through any behavior other than anger. More than three thousand years later, we know Moses more for his anger than his compassion, and that is a shame. It is also why we needed Jesus to be our final deliverer.
In our modern context, we have the same propensity as Moses to respond to primary emotions rather than the nuanced understanding of a broader range of emotional awareness. For instance, we may be overwhelmed by the emotion we know as fear. Fear can paralyze us and keep us locked in our homes, safe from harm. Fearfulness, however, could be motivated by more descriptive emotional terms such as scared, anxious, insecure, weak, rejected, or threatened.
Each of these emotions require different remedies to relieve the basic emotion of fear. If I feel weak, I must focus on becoming stronger so that fear does not rule my life. I can make a plan for becoming stronger that might include lifting weights, reading books about strengthening my resolve, or finding friends to walk through dark places with me. If I feel weak, I can look even deeper into the emotions wheel and reflect upon the feelings of insignificance or worthlessness. Does one tell my emotional story better than the other? I might recognize that my general feeling of worthlessness makes me feel weak which makes me respond to life in fear. What if people find out I’m less than them? What if I’m asked to do something I’m not capable of doing? I might conclude that it is better to isolate myself.
The value of understanding our emotions at a deeper level is supported through scripture. Paul says to examine all things carefully and to hold on to the good. He encourages us to renew our minds according to the truth of scripture and the spirit. David prays that God would examine his heart and reveal harmful ways to him. Jesus says that if we abide in him (and his word by extension), we will know the truth and the truth will set us free.
A prescriptive approach to dealing with a shallow understanding of emotions would begin with recognizing when your emotions are getting you into trouble or creating an identity which you do not want to describe you. I know pastors who are identified by their anger. Much like Moses, that anger is probably motivated by compassion, injustice, hostility, or disrespect. When they preach or get on social media, it simply looks like anger. I know a pastor who is so happy that many people only see him as a fool. It is not fair to him, but he is not simply happy. He is optimistic, fueled by hope. Optimism and hope are deeper emotional descriptors than simple happiness. So, the first task of developing emotional intelligence is to examine your emotional life with the aid of a deeper list of emotional words and connect with those instigating feelings. I have a chapter of my most recent book (Understanding Emotional Victory 101) dedicated to potential expressions of emotional experiences.
Once we begin to identify a broader range of emotional terms, I encourage you to use a good search tool for finding biblical instruction regarding these emotions. I use openbible.info. The prompting question on this website is, “What does the Bible say about…?” When we fill in the blank with words like anxiety, hopefulness, or any of the words on an emotions wheel, we can see multiple verses (often more than hundreds) which can inform us and advise us toward spirit-led control of our emotions. Setting and achieving bite-sized SMART goals will bring success. SMART goals are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-sensitive.
We do not need to be led by our emotions. By looking deeper, we can recognize our emotions and respond appropriately. Let that light on your dash, guide you to healthy solutions rather than a major breakdown on the road of life.
Blessings.
Darrin Crow has been the lead pastor of HEART of Junction Church since it was planted in 1998. He has used his M.A. in Counseling Psychology throughout his ministerial career, and continues to counsel with individuals and couples as a key part of his pastoral duties. Darrin recently authored his second book, Understanding Biblical Mental and Emotional Health 101: A starting place for finding peace by thinking biblically, available online through multiple book sellers. He is available for Biblical mental health–focused events.
