One of the great joys of my life has been coaching youth sports. I have two sons who are both great athletes and I’ve coached their various teams as often as I could. That means that throughout the years I’ve had the opportunity to coach a bunch of kids who aren’t my own. It’s really common when I’m out around town, I’ll hear a kid say, “Hey Coach Zack,” and they run up and give me a high five or a hug. And when we go to our son’s school games now there are often kids playing that I’ve had the opportunity to coach. When this happens, it’s a really cool experience for me because I’m reminded of the opportunities I’ve had to interact with so many young kids.
To me coaching is fun. You get to help develop someone and bring out the best in them in whatever it is you’re coaching them in. I’ve coached youth football the most and I’ve really been able to see some kids excel at their sport and become great football players. But here is another reality, not every kid is fun to coach. It’s not their lack of athletic ability that makes them not fun to coach, it’s rather their lack of “coach-ability”. When you are coaching someone and they refuse to hear constructive criticism, always have an excuse, and don’t listen to anything you say, then you pretty much know that they aren’t going to succeed.
It’s the coachable kids that make coaching fun. They make it feel like you aren’t wasting your time. It feels like you’re really making an impact and investment. These kids take suggestions, they take corrections, they take encouragement all with a smile on their face. I love to hear a kid that I coach say “Yes, coach” and then they run back and get in line for the next rep. They’ve always got a “Put me in coach! I’m ready to play” attitude. It’s been my experience that the kids that really want to get better have a great attitude and a great work ethic. They make the experience fun.
This idea of being coachable, or teachable is not a new idea. We have only to look at the way Jesus taught his disciples to see which disciples were really teachable, or coachable and which took a little while to get there. Matthew 3:13-19 gives us a full list of the twelve disciples and when we look at the list, it doesn’t take long to notice that some learned much more quickly than others. Peter, James, and John are known as Jesus’ “inner circle” and we all know that after the resurrection of Jesus, it is Thomas who struggles to believe Jesus is truly alive from the dead. No doubt, each disciple had his moment of hearing firm truth from Jesus, but with the exception of Judah, the betrayer, they all were learners at some level. Being coached or taught is part of our Christian walk.
I have a couple guys who coach me in ministry. I want to be fun to coach. I want to take their suggestions, their corrections, and their encouragement with a smile on my face. I want to have a great attitude and a great work ethic. Coaching in ministry is a time commitment and I don’t won’t to waste their time or mine.
In order for it to be worth our time, I have to trust them. I have to trust them enough to listen to them and allow them to ask any probing questions that they see fit. I have to trust them that when I share information with them that their response to me will be for my good. If I’ve chosen a good coach I should be able to trust them knowing that they have been there done that and are qualified to coach me. I have to trust that they want the best for me and my church. The coaches I have in my life have way more life experience than I do, they have led their personal life, their family, and their ministry life in a way that I know I can trust them.
Trust is such a vital part of a coaching relationship. You need to be able to trust that your coach has the experience and the problem-solving experience needed to help move you to the next level. Being able to trust a good coach will allow you to have the confidence to grow and succeed. It’s a mistake when we have spent time with the coach and yet don’t trust their answers to our questions. Trust is the key component to a good coaching relationship.
In order for us to trust a coach above our own opinion we must have humility. In leadership sometimes it’s hard for us to see that our opinion isn’t the best opinion, that our point of view isn’t the right point of view all of the time. That’s why we are meeting with the coach to get a different point of view in the first place. Having the humility to listen to a coach and to submit yourself under them is essential in your growth as a leader. We must understand that there are things we can’t see because we’re too close to the situation and having someone who’s not emotionally invested can help us see clearly.
I want to walk into every coaching meeting as humble as possible. I want to be able to lay out every thing that I’m working through, every hardship, trial, challenge and possibility. Pride can easily rob me from a great coaching moment. If I think I have it all figured out on my own and I have every angle covered and I don’t share then I’m robbing myself of my coaches’ experience and knowledge. Humility allows me to share and to be probed with questions that could be game-changers in my situation.
If I’m taking the time to be coached, I have to make sure that I am really eager to grow. Nothing is as discouraging to a coach as a player who doesn’t want to put in the work. I want to be the type of player who is hungry to get better. In our house we use the term “D1” hustle to describe the type of effort we are putting forth in something we are trying to accomplish.
To play athletics at the D1 level you have to have an incredible work ethic matched with incredible gifting. I can’t necessarily control my gifting, but I can control my effort.
I want to have D1 hustle when it comes to ministry and I want the men who invest in me by coaching me to see that kind of hustle. When we walk away from a coaching session and I’ve got objectives and goals to work towards, I’m going to go home and work towards them. When we meet again, I want my coach to see progress. I want him to see that the very things he’s trying to help me with, I’m trying to lead my church in and implement them in a way that brings God glory.
I want to be eager to grow, but I also want to be eager to grow in the right things and in the right ways. I think a coach helps you see where you need to grow. Often because of our own insecurities we misdiagnose where we need to grow. This is the reason I’m very thankful for coaches because they can come in and see where we’re weak and help us to get strong. They can make sure that, in the seeking of our own personal growth, we don’t get lost in the pursuit of worldly things. They can make sure that we’re not seeking our own glory but the glory of God.
I’ve had the blessing of being coached by some really incredible men. They love me, they take time to meet with me, to listen to me, to care for me and my family, and to coach me. They have the desire to develop and mold me into the pastor that God has called me to be. It’s more than that though, they have a desire to see God’s Kingdom expand on earth as it is in heaven. It’s bigger than me and it’s bigger than them. It’s the Great Commission. It’s the call to make disciples, to see the believer equipped for the work of ministry. It’s about Jesus. “Put me in coach! I’m ready to play!”
Zack Thurman is the Lead Pastor of Overland Church in Fort Collins
